02 August 2005
My husband and I went to Barnes & Noble last night. While walking around, I took notice of what I thought was a lot more people looking/noticing/paying attention to me. (No, I did not have a booger hanging out of my nose!) At the time, I decided it was because I'm looking better and feeling better about myself. But, I've since changed my theory and believe it was actually that I was allowing myself to look at others instead of keeping my head down. It's difficult to admit, but I had this self-conscious feeling that if I were to look at someone they might think I was interested in them. And, because of my size, they'd not want to reciprocate the feeling and would in turn do whatever they could to make it obvious they weren't interested. And, quite frankly, I didn't need that kind of rejection (regardless of the fact that I'm not interested in other people; I'm married to a wonderful man whom I'm thoroughly grateful for)! But now because of my 39 pound loss (yes! 39 lbs total!! I've somehow lost 7 lbs over each of the past two weeks!!!), I'm feeling so much better about myself that I'm willing to look others in the eye and not feel like they're going to recoil because I've done so. It's a fantastic feeling!!!!