20 June 2007

Two and one

Two years since gastric bypass and one year since my sweet Koba died. It's still difficult for me to fathom either. Although, both are certainly easier than they were originally. The memories of actually going through surgery are so distant, but I don't want to forget it. I hope it can serve as a reminder of what I went through to get to where I am now. I strangely wasn't too scared at the time (well, until I was about to be wheeled into surgery), but any thoughts of going through that serious of a surgery again scares me to death! Just the minor wrist surgery I had last fall put quite a scare into me.

We watched videos of Koba last night, the anniversary of his death, and when I saw myself I almost couldn't believe it. Who in the heck was that person? Was I really that big? I didn't bring it up with my husband, but there was a scene in the video where I was taking video of our house. I walked up a short flight of steps (maybe 8) and could hear myself breathing more heavily after just those few steps. I can't even imagine how I lived that way! I missed out on so much that I just couldn't physically do so I wouldn't even consider it. Just this past weekend, we walked about a mile to our local farmer's market, then walked about 2 miles to a downtown restaurant, and then walked home stopping at a creek along the way. Two years ago, walking would have been out of the question! Admittedly, I'm not in as good as shape as I was a year ago as I haven't been exercising as regularly as I had been (although I do want to get there again), but I'm still significantly better off than I'd been in years. It's just been such a gift.

I have decided, though, that I'll likely not mark the anniversary of my surgery again as I don't want to dwell on the past. I want to continue moving forward. I'll certainly never forget how I got here, but I think it could be a mistake, for me, to dwell too much in the past. I'll try to post here on a somewhat regular basis, but once I start school, who knows! I'm soooo looking forward to it, though!

No comments: