19 January 2009

I am utterly horrible at making blog posts these days ...

and it seems finishing my honors thesis as well as picking men with which to have fun. Overall, I'd say I had a relatively good winter break. I had a great time with my sister and her family, my parents, my brother and his family, and my grandfather over Christmas and New Years. My nieces got a Wii for Christmas, so many a days and nights were spent playing w/ it. I seemed to be quite good at the games which used the balance board, but by far, the snowboarding was my favorite.

New Year's Eve was a bit too eventful for my taste. I went to a friend's party and stupidly began drinking at 7pm. I'd say by 11:30pm I was completely gone. I have little to no recollection of midnight through 3am. Then, the hangover the next day was unbelievable! I've never felt so badly after drinking! The 25 year old guy I mentioned in my previous post was there, and apparently, I kissed him at midnight. Yeah, no recollection of it. Since that time, I've seen him one other time, and while I thought things had gone pretty well, it seems they've somehow changed, and now, despite telling him from the beginning that I had no desire for a long-term, serious relationship, he now tells me he's only interested in being friends. A guy that's not interested in just having fun? Really?!

And, the 38 year old guy, while still interesting, just isn't emotionally available. He's totally dedicated to his boys (he has 2 from his previous marriage) for which I thoroughly admire him, but that plus what I see as still some difficulty with how his ex-wife left him makes me believe he can't handle a romantic relationship with anyone.

Were either of these relationships something I thought had the possibility of turning into something serious? Not really. But, I was definitely enjoying the contact, the attention, and in the 25 year old's case, the affection. And, now, to basically lose those things from both, it's just hard. It makes me even lonelier. It's really not about missing my ex anymore; it's about missing the companionship, the affection, the feeling that comes with knowing someone desires you.

Thankfully, along with school starting back up (today was the first day back), I think I've found another way to help make me a little less lonely. I will be adopting a rescue Keeshond. It's all happened very quickly, but I know it's right. I've been looking for a rescue Keeshond since early last semester, and just last week, one came available. Her name is Beatrix, and she's 3 1/2 years old. I'll likely be picking her up this coming Sunday, and if we mesh (which I'm sure we will), I'll be bringing her home with me. I can't wait!

Oh, so the honors thesis. Well, I'd been given some extra time to finish it because of taking two studios last semester, so I was supposed to have it finished by the end of winter break. I'd been working on it throughout last semester, but winter break has come and gone. And, I hardly completed anything more over break. I just couldn't get myself to work on it. So, I've gotten an extension ... of one week. So, yeah, I should be working on it right now instead of posting to my blog. I'll say that I'll try to be better about posting throughout the semester, but I won't lie and say that I absolutely will post more b/c, as my track record shows, it's unlikely. I hope all are well! :)

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