10 September 2006

Still encountering changes

One change that I've recently come to realize is that since losing all this weight I've been able to develop friendships with other women more easily. And, what I don't know is is this change due to my increase in self-confidence or is it one of those things that most women probably wouldn't be willing to admit, now that I've lost the weight and can "fit in" with them and others am I more attractive with respect to being a potential friend? Or, is it a combination of them both? I suspect it's the latter, but who knows?!

Throughout my life, I've had a handful of very close female friends, but it was usually only one at a time. And, in the course of my 8 years of marriage prior to the past 4 months, I really didn't have any female friends, close or not. But, now, I have 3 women with which I do things socially on a semi-regular basis, and I'm loving it! Two of them came over this past Friday night to hang out and watch Sex and the City, and we had an absolutely fabulous time! I ate way too much and had 3, count them!, 3 glasses of wine. Granted, that was over the course of 5 hours, but that's a lot of wine for me! Yes, I'm over-analyzing the situation, as usual, and I'm thrilled to have other women with whom I can hang out, talk fashion with and confide in. So, I'm going to do my best not to screw it up! Wish me luck!

On another matter entirely, I'm scheduled for surgery this Friday. I'm sure you're wondering for what? Is it possibly plastics? Nope, I'm having arthroscopic wrist surgery in an attempt to repair or clean up torn cartilage in my right wrist. I'm not looking forward to the surgery and have considered chickening out, but the reason I'm scheduled for the surgery is that I have pain because of the tear. I've gone through physical therapy and have had a cortisone injection, and neither relieved the pain. So, one of the biggest things I'm worried about is the anesthesia. I have the option of being given the twilight anesthesia or general. I'm leaning toward the twilight, but I had twilight when I had my wisdom teeth out and I remember screaming in pain during the procedure. So, I'm just not confident in choosing the twilight. And, another aspect I'm worried about is post surgery. If she can fix the tear, I'll have a cast from my fingers up past my elbow for 6 - 8 weeks. This is my right wrist, guys, and I'm right handed. So, I'm not going to be able to do things w/ my right hand, things like what I spend an hour each morning doing due to my hirsutism. How in the hell am I going to deal w/ that?! If she can't fix it but can only clean it up I'll only have a soft brace for a couple of weeks. So, this weekend when I helped my husband move our stuff from our 2 storage units into 1 I lifted away despite the pain thinking that maybe I'd tear it even more so that she wouldn't be able to fix it. Crazy, huh?!


Anonymous said...

I faithfully click to see an update and again ...empty!
You truly do inspire me. You may think this blog doesnt do much for anyone but you but let me tell you I read it and take most posts to heart. I don't think there is a day that I don't think about your post mentioning how your extra weight aged you. I cry sometimes thinking about it. I need all the inspiration I can get! KEEP POSTING!!!

Jill said...

I am catching up on your posts...I will make a meaningful and inspiring comment as soon as I am finished. I am happy to see you back in action and cannot wait to see you in the videos!