I realized today that I have an old habit I've yet to change, I don't look at myself in the mirror unless I'm there specifically for the purpose of doing my hair, etc. I can be standing directly in front of a mirror washing my hands or whatever, and I just don't look at myself. I guess it comes from years of not wanting to see my own reflection, but I find it odd that even now, after having lost 134 pounds, my mindset hasn't changed. I guess if I force myself to look at myself whenever I go into a restroom (b/c I do want to see if I've got green stuff stuck in my teeth!) I may eventually change my behavior.
Our house seems so empty now without Koba. Yes, my husband's there, but it's missing a certain energy and presence. There have been a number of occasions since his passing where I know he would have made sure he was taking part in whatever was going on, and in each case, I realized it and missed him sorely which usually resulted in me crying. He was just so sweet, so generous and loving. I know I had 13 1/2 wonderful years; I just wish I could have had more.