25 June 2006

Too much ...

and not enough. As I'm sure you can all imagine, life's been significantly disrupted over the past week ... mostly with crying. I miss my sweet boy so much. Most of the time, I still can't accept that he's really gone. We picked up his cremains and paw print impression on Thursday, and I really thought that would help sink reality in. But, since there's really nothing that allows me to visibly tie his cremains to him, it didn't help. I guess I need to put everything of his away. I couldn't put his bed or his bowls away, and I haven't been able to bring myself to throw away the partially empty can of his food or the Frosty Paws (doggie ice cream) we used to help get his pills down in the last days. On multiple occasions, I swear I've heard him ... either his nails on the floor or his cough or his squeak. Usually, there's a good explanation for the noise, but after hearing what sounded exactly like his cough last night, I couldn't get settled down and didn't fall asleep until 3am. Everyone's been really nice. We got 4 cards, and my family sent us plants/flowers. And, all of your posts of encouragement and kind words have meant a lot to me. I am at least able to function mostly normally. But, I really need something that will keep my concentration in order for thoughts of him being gone not to creep into my mind. My husband and I are going to a coping with pet loss meeting on Tuesday night, and I hope it will help some. And, speaking of my husband, he's been really great throughout all this. He's been incredibly supportive and understanding, and I'm so grateful. I have wonderful friends and family, and this experience has really proven it to me.

2 comments:

Sandi said...

I'm glad that he is there for you, and that you'll be getting some counseling for grief together. Losing a pet is a big loss. I'm thinking of you...

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the support meeting will be helpful. You're in my thoughts.