05 January 2006

Skin Issues and Other Sundry

Warning: the following paragraph contains detailed descriptions of issues with my skin. If you're squirmish, skip this paragraph.

So, the skin between my upper thighs and behind my knees has changed a lot lately. It's turned a very dark brown (when compared with the color of the rest of my skin) and looks almost like I have a very dark tan. So far, it's not irritating me, but I've also noticed a number of ingrown hairs in the same areas. What's up w/ that? In addition, I've also found that if I sit on the edge of a chair with my thighs parallel to the ground the fat and skin on the back side of my upper thighs seems to really come together and just hang there. Is there anything I can do to help this skin tone up/fat disappear? Or, save surgery, am I going to be stuck with it (in some form) for the rest of my life? I sure hope not!

Ok, yuckie stuff over. In spite of my lack of willpower while at my sister's, I managed to lose 5 lbs over the two weeks. While 5 lbs over 2 weeks isn't that hot, I truly thought I was going to find I'd gained weight, so I was downright pleased! This loss brings my total weight loss to 96 lbs. I honestly can't believe I'm almost at a total of 100 lbs lost. For crying out loud, my sister only weighs a few pounds over 100 lbs!! I mean, when I think about it from that perspective, it's truly unbelievable to me! I'm still struggling with my body dysmorphia issues, but it's becoming easier to accept that I'm not the same person I used to be. And, for that I'm truly grateful.

I'm also incredibly grateful for all of you out there who have been thinking of me, praying for me and sending me your good wishes. It's amazing what a little support can do for a person. I just really wish all of you ... or at least some of you were in closer proximity so that we could truly be friends. Overall, I feel the counseling session Tuesday went well. It took me a little time to come to this conclusion as there were some things said that upset me, but after reflection, I've decided that it is a very positive first step (even if it's only a baby step) toward reconciliation and a much better marriage. One of the most positive outcomes of the session is that we've both agreed to commit to working on our relationship for the next 2 months without giving up on it in that time. I truly feel we're already talking with each other more effectively, and we haven't really been given any direction on how to best improve our communication skills. And, while being apart from him is the last thing I want, I've come to realize that this whole experience has already had at least one very positive outcome. I'm much clearer in my own mind about what I need to do to achieve one major thing that I need for myself, to become a landscape architect. I know that achieving that goal will be one of the best things I can do for myself regardless of what happens with my husband.


Kim said...

Hi there! I've lost almost 230 pounds over the course of two years and I can tell you that body dysmorphia is still an issue to this very day for me. I think that this is the toughest part of WLS! As for the skin...surgery my friend. I've just completed a medial thigh lift. It was the only way that I was going to be able to get rid of that hanging, useless skin. Because I carried the majority of my weight from the waist down, I'm also in need of a butt lift! The thigh lift didn't take care of my saddle bags and keester. You can apply buckets of lotion religiously, but it doesn't repair the damage that has already been done.
On the upside of things, it sounds like you are in a great place, mentally...I love that you are going to pursue your goal of becoming a landscape architect.
Hugs from California!

Holly said...

i've noticed the brown skin as well. i figured it was from years of friction discoloring it. i honestly don't know. but i've got major skin issues too. i've been told surgery is all that will fix it. i've also been told that if you wait a year or two at your ideal weight some of that skin will snap back. i think alot has to do with heredity, how heavy, and how long you were heavy.

i guess we'll see!

Sandi said...

Jenn, I'm very happy how your entry ends with self-discovery...that's awesome! I don't know about the skin thingy yet, I'm watching my bat wings evolve...

The Catapillar said...

I have just had surgery and am worried about the skin issue. I joined a gym because someone told me that during the rapid weightloss time is the most important time for the skin issue.

On the other note. It is good that you are continuing to achive your goals.