14 November 2005

The emotional rollercoaster

Most rollercoasters start out by climbing a hill upward, so I'll start with the positive: I took last Friday off in order to run errands and decided to stop by my former place of work to say hi to some of my former co-workers that were still around. From just about everyone that I spoke with I received a rousing message of congratulations about my weight loss and how great I looked. I got a lot accomplished and even found a couple of Christmas presents while out shopping. So, I entered the weekend on a good note.

Then, on Saturday, my husband and I went to Friendly's for dinner. We were seated at a booth right by a window, with me facing out, and it had become dark outside. After placing our orders, we began a discussion of our Thanksgiving plans. While discussing these plans, I noticed my husband's eyes following someone across the room. Having the window in front of me, I was able to easily look up to see that it was a gorgeous, young, long-haired blonde that caught his attention. It crushed me. I know it was harmless and shouldn't have meant a thing, but I'd never seen him do anything like that in front of me before. And, given my recent state of feeling better about myself because of my weight loss, I think it hurt more. All those good feelings flew out the window along with her image walking across it. I did my best to recover; although, I let him know right then how much it bothered me. And, that night, we ended up staying up until 2:30am talking about it as well as other things.

So, the next morning we went ahead with our plans to drive to a mall about an hour away to go shopping as I had a 40% off coupon and gift certificate from my parents for Lane Bryant and a 25% off coupon and gift certificate from my sister for J Jill. I bought size 16 jeans and size 14/16 tops from Lane Bryant and a size XL sweater and top from J Jill. It was great to be buying stuff in size 16 from Lane Bryant and to be buying something other than accessories from J Jill, so in all, a fabulous shopping trip.

As for the weekend in toto while on paper the two positives should outweigh the one negative, that lack of self-confidence keeps creeping in, and I'm trying very hard not to let it take control.

1 comment:

Kaye Bailey said...

Hi Jenn-

It made me very happy to read you and your husband talked it out - very healthy. You might be surprised that your own reflection in that window is a gorgeous blonde.