08 December 2005

I'm still struggling with it ...

How can I _know_ that I've lost a lot of weight but still look at myself and see myself just as, well, myself? Does that make any sense at all? I'm sure probably most people who have had WLS struggle with this issue, but it's just so bizarre for me. I sometimes look at myself in the mirror when I'm changing for bed or when I've put on something that actually fits and think, wow, I'm really looking good. I mean, how can I not realize it when I can do things like comfortably sit in the front seat of my Jetta and fasten the seat belt without having to squish myself up against the door ... not to mention the fact that I easily fit in the seats at the New Amsterdam Theater?! But, then, later, I'll look again and not see any differences; I just see the same bulging stomach, thick thighs and calves, flabby arms and big butt. Will this ever change? Dangit, I sure hope so!

4 comments:

Claire said...

I am having a hard time with seeing myself smaller. Everyday people tell me I look smaller, my clothes are literally falling off my body and I just don't see it. Isn't it strange how the perception of a smaller body does not hit us?

The Catapillar said...

You look wonderful!!! Someone suggested to me that if you take pictures of the old you and compare the pictures of the new you it will help your self image. Dont know if it works i havent tried it yet but It's worth a shot. Keep up the fantastic work.

jenn said...

Jenn,
Oh i think we ALL go through this! There are those moments when I'm like, "hot damn girl! you look amazing - you are totally cool, hot and fantastic!" then later that same day, I'll be changing for bed or at the gym and thing "holy crap, you are still incredibly fat compared to most people...and you'll never have a 'nice' body because of all the skin, stretchmarks and sagging..." BUT!!! All that said, I really just have to look at my hideous fat pic on my fridge. It's HORRIBLE and then I'm reminded that even though I'm no supermodel, I AM DOING GREAT and even though I weigh 218, I DON"T WEIGH 258. And last, I remember that I AM HUMAN, and I'm doing the best I can - try to be gentle with yourself and just move through those negative moments, knowing a positive one will follow soon.
xoxo
jenn

Jenn said...

Thanks, ladies, for your positive comments! I'll certainly try to think of them the next time I'm looking down on myself.

Jenn