18 December 2005

This is not going to be so easy ...

I've had probably one of my worst food days ever since surgery. My two nieces are big snackers. They don't necessarily eat bad foods, but they snack a lot. They're both so tiny and do so many activities that's not at all an issue for them, but just by being around them I found myself snacking too ... something I really haven't done since surgery. I didn't do so badly for my meals, but in between lunch and dinner, I had about 3 tbsp roasted and salted soybeans (10 grams of protein, so I didn't feel horribly about this one), probably 15-20 pieces of light popcorn (I was previously proud of myself for not running out and buying popcorn after I found out it was ok to eat occasionally), 2 original Sun chips and probably 10 Goldfish crackers. Arrrghhgh!! I have to make a conscious decision to not allow myself to snack or else this 2 week trip meant to help relax me and allow me to think other things through will end up stressing me out. And, there's no scale in the house, so I have no way of truly knowing how it's affecting me ... other than feeling defeated mentally. Yes, I have a big stressor in my life right now, but I know that if I weren't here w/ all of this snack food around, I wouldn't be doing it. So, I've just got to stop. I'll let you know how it goes.

5 comments:

Sandi said...

Thinking of you Jenn. I'm also thinking of how hard it is to deal with life issues at the same time as food issues. I thought that if I dealt with the weight, I automatically wouldn't want to overeat, but it's not so black and white. Good luck finding your way through this maze....

Jenn said...

Thank you, Sandi. I'm doing better today, but the day's not over yet. :P

Jenn

Marla said...

Stay strong Jenn. This to shall pass! You will get through this successfully. Just keep a smile on your face and think positively. Thinking of you.

Holly said...

i've had the snackies lately too. it's tough. i know it's a stress reaction for me. i find myself greatful that i can only eat a handful for cheez nips instead of the whole box.

try not to feel defeated, take it as a learning/growing experience. come up with alternate ways of handling the situation.

jenn said...

Jenn,
Oh sweetie! Hang in there and keep perspective - what you listed out there really isn't that many calories at all, and bonus, you RNY girl, you only absorb 1/2 of 'em anyhow! Just be gentle with yourself; you know I'm milling my way through a break-up (divorce equivalent really)after 7 years, and it wasn't my choice to end it either.

Use your weight loss as a safe place to go and focus and to know you are taking care of yourself! And if once in a while, you eat a little popcorn or whatever, WHO CARES! You'll get back on track in short order; it's hard to be perfect every day, all the time - esp. with a broken heart, trust me :)

Let me know if I can do anything for you!
~jenn