10 December 2005
My life was shattered yesterday
My husband came to my office just a few minutes before I was scheduled to leave to tell me he was leaving me; he wanted a separation agreement and a divorce. It kills me to write this, but I have to get it out. I'm at my parents' house about an hour from where we live, and my sister is coming up from Alabama to try and help. I am beyond devastated. We didn't argue or fight, but I guess that's because he didn't tell me when I did things to upset him. I had no idea this was coming; I have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't feel strong enough for this. There's a slight chance he'll give us a chance ... to try and work things out. So, he's agreed to see me Monday morning. I'm having such a hard time eating; I try to eat and can hardly get anything down. I'm drinking a lot of water, but I'm crying so much. I couldn't sleep last night; my parents just don't know what to do with me. I know they're trying, and I know it's killing them too. Our dog, Koba, won't stop looking for him. When I made it back to our house after leaving my office, I found everything that was his gone. I miss him so much; I miss his smile, the way he hugged me, the way he laughed, the way he smelled. I'm so lost. I'm just so lost.